senioritis

I've reached the point where I really don't care anymore. Am I going to graduate from college? Yes. Do I need to study in order to pass? No. Should I study so that I don't get a "D"? Probably. But why? Why would I want to study? I mean let's be realistic here. The only reason that I would need to study would be that I wanted to get a good grade. The only reason to get a good grade would be so that I can get into grad school someday. Do I want to go to grad school? Maybe. Do I think it will ever happen? Probably not. It's a nice thought, one I'm not opposed to, but let's be realistic. Once I escape the world of Professors, papers, tests, boring-text-book reading, and homework, will I ever want to return? Only if I got really bored and felt a strong desire to go to work. Even then, unless Chris was disabled, I've got a college degree, I should be able to do something, right? That's the theory anyway, so why do I need a masters? I don't. So why do I need to study? I don't.

And yet I just can't let myself go and take a final without studying. I can't do it. It's the curse of being an oldest child: perfectionism. You may not think I'm a perfectionist after seeing my house, but when it comes to school work, I just can't be a slacker. I've tried, I really have, but I have failed miserably.

On another note, I am very, very ready for Chris to graduate. No more homework and tests and study groups until 2 a.m. (not his fault, the other guys in the group kind of take their sweet time. They don't have children. They don't realize how precious evenings are). I just want Chris to work a 9-5 job and come home to me. (Yes I know this is far from reality. He'll be study for the CPA and working until midnight during "busy season", but let me just pretend for a little while.)

Oh graduation, can you come any sooner?! Only 16 more days!