Dear Immune System,
I hate you. Yes, I know hate is a bad word. Madison reminds me of this any time she hears me use it. But honestly, I think you're stupid (that's also a bad word and I don't care a bit, so there!).
For some horrible reason you had decided to quit working while I'm pregnant and I just don't think that's fair. I mean, c'mon, I'm already the size of a whale, I can hardly move, I don't sleep well, my sciatic nerve makes me leg go numb every time I stand up, I feel like I'm carrying around an oven with me everywhere I go, I have heartburn, I have weird freckles all over my cheeks and upper lip (pregnancy mask), oh and I have contractions all the time. Can't you show a little mercy and at least keep me healthy so I don't have to deal with illness on top of it all? Obviously not, because for some ridiculous reason you keep allowing the germs to get through, and I keep getting sick. I mean really this is all getting out of hand. In the last 8 months I've had the stomach flu 3 times, dealt with 2 horrible ear infections, and now I have this stupid cough that keeps me up at night and makes me feel like I have emphysema.
So guess what?! You're fired. It's not like you were doing anything useful anyway. I get every illness that passes through a 50 mile vicinity of my house. My kids and my husband don't get sick, so I'm pointing the finger of blame at you. You are just not performing up to my expectations. I'm sorry. An ear infection or the stomach flu once maybe twice a year is excusable, but this has gone too far. You're out of here.
Signed,
Cranky sick pregnant lady
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4 comments:
:( So sorry :( Yes--Fire him and get a new one STAT!
Ugh. I will just say that I can relate and I seriously feel for you. Fingers crossed your immune system gets it's act together, and soon. Pregnancy is already miserable enough.
BTW, fave line was about "carrying around an oven." I SO FEEL THAT WAY!!!
DANGIT Sarah- stupid genetics- I'm not even pregnant and I'm still sick all the time... I will be the biggest pregnant pansy in all the land!!! Blast immune systems. Maybe we should JUST eat vitamin C and nothing else. Oh, and live in plastic bubbles. Then maybe we'll only get sick like 2 times a year instead of 15!!!!
I can SO relate. I had the same problem. Good luck!!! ANd for the record, you don't look like you're carrying an oven! :)
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